I periodically add some new poems and articles from recent issues of The Compassionate Friends newsletters we receive monthly. I think they will give those who take the time to read the material, a better understanding of the bereaved parent's mindset and the emotional struggles we face daily as we try to make it through everyday without our dearest blood, our child. I hope all who visit will take a few minutes to read the contents of this page.

From Lament for a Son

It’s the neverness that is so painful.

never to be here with us, never to sit

with us at table, never to travel with us,

never to laugh with us, never to cry with

us,never to embrace us as he leaves for

school,never to see his brothers and

sister marry.

All the rest of our lives we must live

without him. Only our death can stop the

pain of his death.

A month, a year, five years-with that I

could live. But not this forever.

I step outdoors into the moist, moldy

fragrance of an early summer morning,

and in arm with my enjoyment

comes the realization that never again

will he smell this.

As a cloud vanishes and is gone, so he

Who goes down to the grave

Does not return,

He will never come to his house again;

His place will know him no more

( Job 7:9-10)

One small misstep

and now this endless neverness

by Nicholas Wolterstoff

I’ll lend you for a little time, a child of mine he said.

For you to love the while he lives, and mourn for when he’s dead.

It may be six or seven years, or twenty two or three,

But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief.

You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay, since all from Earth return.

But there are lessons taught down there, I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked the wide world over, in my search for teachers true,

And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you.

Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain?

Nor hate me when I come to call, to take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say, “Dear Lord, thy will be done”.

For all the joy the child shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.

We’ll shelter him with tenderness, and love him while we may,

And for the happiness we’ve known, forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for him much sooner than we’ve planned,

We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes…… and try to understand.

REMNANTS

The remnants of my son’s life fill this empty home.

Possessions dear and near to him when he walked these floors

Things that brought him joy, things that he cherished

Objects and trinkets touched by his hands, held to his heart

A life’s worth of material things lay scattered about

A life’s worth of things left by a life unfulfilled

These are our things now, to be cherished and held dear

The flotsam and jetsam of his all too brief stay with us

Reminders of his presence, reminders of our pain

So many things, so little time

Is it true what they say; “the light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long”

A closet full of clothes, boxes of shoes, containers of toys tucked away

A prized collection of keepsakes, carefully shelved by his hands

A stack of magazines and books, a box of broken skateboards

Trays of pieces of things only he knew and kept for “someday”

Stacks of movies and cds, a tv, his dive watch, his prized caps

All these things, all our memories, all our pain

His invisible footprints fill his room, fill this house

Every person that lives, leaves behind these things

Leaves behind the material possessions, the accumulation of a lifetime

They are our gifts now, left by him, held by him,

These remnants are more than that

They are proof of life…………

Proof of his life

NOTICE:

I have put the home page of the Flying At Twilight website back up finally. It will take some time, but I will begin to rebuild the site and add some new content. Anyone who would like to add a page or do some work on it would be most welcome.

flyingattwilight.com

“I Am With You Always”

“I am with you always,

Never have a fear,

When you feel the most alone,

Remember I am here.

I have cried as you have cried,

Many times before,

I have had a broken heart,

Yes, and so much more.

I have known betrayal,

Of the cruelest kind,

So sweep away the bitterness,

And put it from your mind.

And let us walk together,

Through the twilight’s glow,

For I have felt as you do now,

Dear child, I know……I know.

I am with you always,

You are not alone,

My love for you is endless,

Because you are my own.

And through your darkest hours,

You will find me near,

Nor will your crosses ever be,

….Too great for you to bear.”

--Grace E. Easley