Dear Friends of Chris

For those that have tried and failed to reach Chris' website for the last month or so I apologize. Due to some mixup in the domain registration, his domain name was in limbo temporarily and just today, Monday March 1st, the site is back up and running. It has been painful and worrisome to me personally as I take to heart deeply, my efforts to keep his memory alive through this labor of love and admiration for my son. I worry so that he will in time be forgotten and that your memories of him will dim. I hope all his friends will continue to visit here and remember him fondly and lovingly. NOTE: I recently found more movies of Chris and as soon as they are converted I will begin again to post new movie clips of his wonderful life. Also Chris' closest friends, Nick and Nathan have approached me about an idea they have been mulling over; a Facebook page dedicated to Chris. I hope this may also allow us to reach out to his many friends on a more regular basis. I will keep everyone posted on the progress. Again, thank you for visiting !!!! Bob

Our son, Christopher Ryan Camarena was born on April 10th 1986 at Research Medical Center in Kansas City Mo. He was always a "city boy" , raised on the run by parents sorely lacking in parenting skills. He was a happy baby, always smiling and always on the run. He never stopped from the moment he was born and he grew and lived his entire life that way, always curious and exploring, always filled with wonderment and excitement. He lived his early years on the run as we shuffled him from place to place and many times not under the best of circumstances as he spent too many years in day care centers and baby sitter's homes. We wish now we had done better and tried harder to give him a better childhood. None of the less than ideal situations he had to endure during those early years seemed to bother him or his happy demeanor.

What I have come to learn since his death is the impact he had on so many people. Who could have imagined that a young man at age 18 would leave behind so many friends and casual aquaintances, adults and peers alike, stinging and hurting at his passing. Although this should bring us some comfort, it is too early to indulge ourselves that luxury and the wound is still too tender and fresh, easily irritated. All of them are hurting and in pain at their loss, each looking for some reason or explanation for the unexplicable. Even as I update this site some three and a half years later, we still struggle to understand why and we know now after this time, we will never get over our loss of him and although I worry about him being forgotten by friends and family, I know deep in my heart that can never happen. He meant too much to too many and he can never be replaced.

It would be so easy to use all the cliches when describing our son but many of them are applicable. This much is certain: he was a one of a kind human being, possessing all the love and warmth, kindness and virtue, gentleness and spirit one person could have. He was truly blessed I believe by God with a personality and love of life that few ever have or aspire to. He rarely had a bad day and if he did he rarely allowed himself the indulgence of self pity. He was humble but confidant and strong of heart and mind beyond his years. He endured private pains and hurts and seldom complained. He was so strong and fearless yet so caring and accepting and he felt so deeply about life and family. His love of friends and family is well known among all especially his love of his sister Caranne. He cared for her always and included her in his life and activities, never leaving her behind until he left us. When he left us she was with him and he gave her the gift of his life so she could stay here with us. He would have had it no other way.

The influence of his personality and friendship on friends and school mates is well known. He was loved, admired and respected as the steady friend they could count on; his honor and integrity relied upon countless times. That our son impacted so many is heartwarming and very saddening at the same time. A few days after Chris' death, a knock at the front door found our postman with a registered letter for us. As I opened the door to greet him and sign for the letter, he looked at me with eyes full of tears and said with a choking voice, " I really liked that kid of yours. He was the only teenager that ever talked to me on my route. He was really a great kid". As I closed the door I was filled with amazement at the exchange. This was Chris. I had no idea he had ever talked to the postman and again another example of Chris' friendly nature and respect for others was shown to us.

The most overwhelming , consistent and heartwarming message that we as Chris' parents have heard from the time he was young until this tragic time of our lives has been how much people admired his million dollar personality and his strength of character. It has never mattered  whether he met someone only briefly or whether it was a long time friend or casual acquaintance, the comments were and have always been the same: what a great friendly kid; he makes me feel so  good; Chris is always so happy and smiling. The descriptions are many and heartfelt and people's admiration and delight were and have always been genuine when describing our son.

Christopher's most endearing trait was his complete lack of self consciousness when showing affection to either his parents or his sister Caranne. It made no difference to him if others were present, including close friends. His big warm hugs are legendary among his family and friends and I believe his courage to show others affection publicly made his friends love and admire him even more, and may have given them the courage to express themselves more openly. He never hesitated to tell us he loved us when surrounded by his buds and always hugged us when he left to go play or when coming home after being away. He embraced his sister constantly and made sure she was always part of his life, sharing many experiences together and developing the closest brother-sister bond imaginable.

His open friendly demeanor included everyone he came in contact with and his congeniality and good manners were always on display when meeting new people or greeting old friends. I had tried to teach him early on how important a good firm handshake was for men and my son learned the lesson well and I was always so proud of him when he would meet business associates of mine or his mother's and would always extend his big strong hand and offer it along with a confident, " Hi I'm Chris". When he and I would go shopping together as we did for movies or music, he would always be the first one to say a loud, "Thank you very much" when checking out, regardless of the purchase or establishment. He had learned all these life lessons so well and used them daily as they became a part of his wonderful personality.

It has been almost four years since Chris died and many days we still are lost and bewildered. We miss him so much and life is certainly not the same yet we get up everyday and we try to honor his life and his memories. So much more can be written and will be but we want you to know how much Chris meant to us as family, as his parents, as his friends. There is no way to know or quantify the impact his passing has had and will continue to have on all that knew and loved him. Many lives have been changed by our loss of him. Many have gone in different directions since he died, many for the better and we know that for many of those, the changes were a direct result of how their lives, their personalities, their prioritites were changed by him. Hard to imagine an 18 year old young man could be such a force in so many lives. Yet he was just that.

I held him close for only a short time, but

After he was gone, I’d see his smile in the

face of a perfect stranger & I knew he

Would be there with me all the rest of my

days. b.andreas